HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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