RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
