I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
