Kiss
Puke
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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