There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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