You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
