I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
