Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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