I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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