I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
