EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
