This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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