How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
