very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
should my penis look like a turkey
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize