I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i love accidental penises.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
