What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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