32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
