Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
