So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
