You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
