Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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