Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
