Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just gargled with NyQuil
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
