Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Fuck appropriateness.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
