fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
