Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
this just has baby written all over it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Couch. On fire.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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