sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
