I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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