do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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