You made me cry and you don't even care
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
