don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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