I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We have started to decorate penises.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
