So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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