By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I love how my cats smell like pot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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