I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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