Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
