Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Pants are for mortals
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
