know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
