Dual....:-)
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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