hell yes lets make some ravioli
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
