Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
