if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
