Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
