D3 body, D1 cock
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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