Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
