dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
