Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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