Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
