Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
