I'm lost and stupid without you.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
