so explain again why im purple
no
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
