well most of my day revolves around power hour
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
