Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize