He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize