me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize