But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Bring me that man meat
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
