Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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