dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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