3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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