Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
