is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
