We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
